LOST: ME (reward if found)
I was at work when I had a feeling I should go to my locker and check my mobile phone. I had a sudden thought that the orphanage I wanted to volunteer at might return my call. I needed to know they could take me on before I committed to going. Just as I approached my locker my mobile began to ring. It was the orphanage calling! They told me that it was strange that the president had failed to reply to me sooner and that it was impossible to take me on until January. My heart sank. The dream was over. After hanging up, I was confused, everything had gone so smoothly and now the trip was unravelling like a roll of toilet paper into a big, irretrievable and wasteful mess.
To knock the last nail in the coffin my tour company said I had 24 HOURS to book a place on the trek. More disheartening was the fact that only 3 other people were booked into the tour so the chances of finding a friend were limited.
Losing an overseas trip suddenly felt like losing a best friend. I feel betrayed by fate, lost and let down by myself. I kept replaying the whole chain of events with a desperate desire to see where I might have done things differently. I have been trying to get back to Nepal for over two years now and when people say reassuringly, "It's just not meant to be." I find it hard to accept it.
Cancelling brings remorse, not relief. Will they ever invent an antibiotic for the travel bug? My friend said she was relieved that I decided not to go because my inesplicable anxiety from the beginning was so unusual for me she was sure there was a reason why I should not go. She said she would watch the news. This provided some comfort but with an accompanying dread - what if I had backed out of this trip out of plain old gutlessness?
Had I become mildly agrophobiac? Would I never go back to Nepal? Is flight QF824 doomed to disaster? Or is it worse? Am I no longer willing to go a la solo?
To knock the last nail in the coffin my tour company said I had 24 HOURS to book a place on the trek. More disheartening was the fact that only 3 other people were booked into the tour so the chances of finding a friend were limited.
Losing an overseas trip suddenly felt like losing a best friend. I feel betrayed by fate, lost and let down by myself. I kept replaying the whole chain of events with a desperate desire to see where I might have done things differently. I have been trying to get back to Nepal for over two years now and when people say reassuringly, "It's just not meant to be." I find it hard to accept it.
Cancelling brings remorse, not relief. Will they ever invent an antibiotic for the travel bug? My friend said she was relieved that I decided not to go because my inesplicable anxiety from the beginning was so unusual for me she was sure there was a reason why I should not go. She said she would watch the news. This provided some comfort but with an accompanying dread - what if I had backed out of this trip out of plain old gutlessness?
Had I become mildly agrophobiac? Would I never go back to Nepal? Is flight QF824 doomed to disaster? Or is it worse? Am I no longer willing to go a la solo?
