Stop Acting so Adultish
It was a toss up last night. I had resigned myself to a prudent evening activity of a hot milo and some light reading when my friend said she was going to a singles party followed by a birthday bash. At first I thought no, you are not a party girl anymore, you are grown-up, responsible, well-behaved and you have no time to waste on such frivolous activities anymore. Then I saw on the backseat of my car by pure serendipity were my favourite halter-neck top and skirt. I called her back. "I'll be there in half an hour." I said. We arrived at the singles party and scoped out the desultory looking crowd. "Hey, everyone's old." my friend commented. We soon discovered our friend had unwittingly invited us to an over 30's event. The median male attendee appeared to be about forty-five and grizzly-looking. But this disappointing discovery was not going to deter us from having a good time. Upon arrival we were given a ticket with a celebrity name on it with instructions to find the celebrity's partner among the other guests in order to redeem the ticket for a raffle entry. You were in to win a bottle of Ricadonna and a suspiciously cheap-looking bottle entitled the dubious label of 'Fish'/
"Let's make this interesting." I said with a wicked gleam. "We get an article of clothing for the no of celebrity matches we get." Kiah's eyes widened, "I'm only wearing two pieces of
clothing!" she wailed. Nick was much more enthusiastic and offerred to give up all his clothes and dance naked - this night was starting to look like fun.
The party guests had assembled into small cliques of friends or thoughtfully beside a pot plant trying to look perfectly comfortable when we began our plan of attack. Nick took us each on his arm and swept us around the bar as we made our choice as to who
we would ask first. Kiah asked the DJ but he wasn't even participating. Then Nick and I had a go but were unsuccessful. Soon we were swooping boldly on people demanding to know who they were like immigration officials on speed. I was Catherine Zeta-Jones looking for Michael Douglas and I shrieked with joy when I found him. Dragging him up to the desk I triumphantly snatched up my first raffle ticket and dipped into the box for a new name. A look of fear crossed my friend's faces - then it was all on. People watched us in amused amazement as we continued our mad merry-go-round around the club. It was like the amazing dating race. People were gleeful at our unabashed approach and some even gave us lucrative tip-offs on who was our celebrity partner.
As the raffle tickets accumulated the fervour heightened and the cheating began. My
friends double-dipped from the name box and soon we were attracting dirty looks from the stiff-lipped hostesses. They obviously were overlooking the fact that we were the only people in the room actually having any fun and meeting people - wasn't that the point? Finally, it came time for the raffle. Kiah had 3 tickets, I had 4 and Nick had pulled an impressive 7 tickets. While I wailed about unfair play Nick had his raffle ticket pulled from the hat and he screamed all the way to the stage, "I've won two bottles of wine! I've won two bottles of wine!". We celebrated with photos, a victory dance and then moved onto the birthday bash.
Our assault on people as agents of You-Must-Have-Fun-or-You-Dese rve-to-be-Reincarnated-as-a-C abbage Brigade continued as we spotted a lovely young thing who was sitting far too quietly with a shy smile. Nick and I coaxed her to her feet and onto the dance floor. Soon after we encouraged an equally reserved boy away from the bar to dance with Kiah. I then gave away my drink to a delicate thing called Karen who looked like she needed it more than me. Soon after, we linked arms and began a game of limbo. Finally, we began to grow weary and agreed to head home.
As we left the club we spotted Karen being pestered on the street by a guy who looked like he had less than good intentions. He insisted it was cool but I knew the look on Karen's
face said otherwise so I told him I felt otherwise before stepping between and guiding
her away. Karen became emotional as we escorted her to a taxi explaining that the guy was dating her housemate and had been cracking onto her. She was feeling vulnerable after her divorce and clearly was shaken by his predatorial behaviour. With a good deed done the perfect evening was coming to a close.
As I pulled Nick's shirt around me in the car I thought about how you only really start to enjoy a night out when you are taking things about as seriously as a plea of innocence from Paris Hilton. But its no good having this much fun without good friends you can trust to bail out of strife.
By the way, the You-Must-Have-Fun-Or-You-Dese rve-To-Be-Reincarnated-As-A-C abbage Brigade have already targeted their next set of victims for this weekend. So if you
have fallen victim to the the Let's-Make-A-Bunch-Of-Already -Vulnerable-People-Feel-
Really-Uncomfortable-While-Ma king-Loads-of-Money-Doing-It scheme then remember
that you have nothing to lose by stepping out and getting a bit crazy...except maybe the shirt off your back ; )
"Let's make this interesting." I said with a wicked gleam. "We get an article of clothing for the no of celebrity matches we get." Kiah's eyes widened, "I'm only wearing two pieces of
clothing!" she wailed. Nick was much more enthusiastic and offerred to give up all his clothes and dance naked - this night was starting to look like fun.
The party guests had assembled into small cliques of friends or thoughtfully beside a pot plant trying to look perfectly comfortable when we began our plan of attack. Nick took us each on his arm and swept us around the bar as we made our choice as to who
As the raffle tickets accumulated the fervour heightened and the cheating began. My
friends double-dipped from the name box and soon we were attracting dirty looks from the stiff-lipped hostesses. They obviously were overlooking the fact that we were the only people in the room actually having any fun and meeting people - wasn't that the point? Finally, it came time for the raffle. Kiah had 3 tickets, I had 4 and Nick had pulled an impressive 7 tickets. While I wailed about unfair play Nick had his raffle ticket pulled from the hat and he screamed all the way to the stage, "I've won two bottles of wine! I've won two bottles of wine!". We celebrated with photos, a victory dance and then moved onto the birthday bash.
Our assault on people as agents of You-Must-Have-Fun-or-You-Dese rve-to-be-Reincarnated-as-a-C abbage Brigade continued as we spotted a lovely young thing who was sitting far too quietly with a shy smile. Nick and I coaxed her to her feet and onto the dance floor. Soon after we encouraged an equally reserved boy away from the bar to dance with Kiah. I then gave away my drink to a delicate thing called Karen who looked like she needed it more than me. Soon after, we linked arms and began a game of limbo. Finally, we began to grow weary and agreed to head home.
As we left the club we spotted Karen being pestered on the street by a guy who looked like he had less than good intentions. He insisted it was cool but I knew the look on Karen's
face said otherwise so I told him I felt otherwise before stepping between and guiding
her away. Karen became emotional as we escorted her to a taxi explaining that the guy was dating her housemate and had been cracking onto her. She was feeling vulnerable after her divorce and clearly was shaken by his predatorial behaviour. With a good deed done the perfect evening was coming to a close.
As I pulled Nick's shirt around me in the car I thought about how you only really start to enjoy a night out when you are taking things about as seriously as a plea of innocence from Paris Hilton. But its no good having this much fun without good friends you can trust to bail out of strife.
By the way, the You-Must-Have-Fun-Or-You-Dese rve-To-Be-Reincarnated-As-A-C abbage Brigade have already targeted their next set of victims for this weekend. So if you
have fallen victim to the the Let's-Make-A-Bunch-Of-Already -Vulnerable-People-Feel-
Really-Uncomfortable-While-Ma king-Loads-of-Money-Doing-It scheme then remember
that you have nothing to lose by stepping out and getting a bit crazy...except maybe the shirt off your back ; )
