BP, oil, and other reasons to lie awake at night.
What is really puzzling about the oil catastrophe is that so far, everyone is keeping their jobs. Well, everyone who works for BP anyway. The shrimp farmers are screwed.
It was the US government themselves who announced it is in everyone's best interests that BP continue their job of providing over-priced fuel and destroying planet earth. This sounds to me a bit like a postal van crashing into my lounge room and being told they should continue driving through the house to the street on the other side to complete the mail run on time.
Now that I've learnt how, I would happily get on my bike tomorrow if it means showing BP we can live without them and their stupid oil. But of course we can't. Not unless we intend to stop using plastic, fuel and cosmetics all in the same day. That would mean a lot of groceries being transported in brown paper bags balanced on bicycle bars by self-conscious housewives. But it wouldn't have to be for long because I've got a wonderful plan.
I can understand that if BP had to shut down every oil rig tomorrow those shouting devils at Wall street might need new pace makers. But why should BP executives continue to enjoy being paid a kazillion dollars per hour to send encouraging messages to their shareholders? I suspect that if my workplace spilt a billion litres of anything we would be ousted from our positions quicker than a Labor Party leader.
So my wonderful plan involves firing the BP board of buffoons and replacing them with Hamish elders. No better stewards of earth's resources can be found on this earth than this blessed bunch. When they talk about how much horsepower got them up the hill they are generally talking about two actual horses. They also don't know much about plastic and chances are, have not even heard of the oil spill because they don't watch TV. All this makes them perfect for the job. An Hamish board of oil executives would send every shareholder a recommendation to trade their stocks in for a horsedrawn buggy and to join a coastal working bee. Together, they would pick up all the oil-soaked animals and use giant patchwork quilts to soak up the oil and wring it into barrels.
Then BP would then stand for, Buggy Power and each buggy would be built out of plastic from the oil collected from the spill. And then the BP executives would be given jobs driving us around town in the horsedrawn buggies and I think I should stop there before it all starts to sound a little fantastical.
My plan might sound absurd but allowing BP executives to continue enjoying a seat on the throne of corporate greed while bleeding the earth is much more so.
It was the US government themselves who announced it is in everyone's best interests that BP continue their job of providing over-priced fuel and destroying planet earth. This sounds to me a bit like a postal van crashing into my lounge room and being told they should continue driving through the house to the street on the other side to complete the mail run on time.
Now that I've learnt how, I would happily get on my bike tomorrow if it means showing BP we can live without them and their stupid oil. But of course we can't. Not unless we intend to stop using plastic, fuel and cosmetics all in the same day. That would mean a lot of groceries being transported in brown paper bags balanced on bicycle bars by self-conscious housewives. But it wouldn't have to be for long because I've got a wonderful plan.
I can understand that if BP had to shut down every oil rig tomorrow those shouting devils at Wall street might need new pace makers. But why should BP executives continue to enjoy being paid a kazillion dollars per hour to send encouraging messages to their shareholders? I suspect that if my workplace spilt a billion litres of anything we would be ousted from our positions quicker than a Labor Party leader.
So my wonderful plan involves firing the BP board of buffoons and replacing them with Hamish elders. No better stewards of earth's resources can be found on this earth than this blessed bunch. When they talk about how much horsepower got them up the hill they are generally talking about two actual horses. They also don't know much about plastic and chances are, have not even heard of the oil spill because they don't watch TV. All this makes them perfect for the job. An Hamish board of oil executives would send every shareholder a recommendation to trade their stocks in for a horsedrawn buggy and to join a coastal working bee. Together, they would pick up all the oil-soaked animals and use giant patchwork quilts to soak up the oil and wring it into barrels.
Then BP would then stand for, Buggy Power and each buggy would be built out of plastic from the oil collected from the spill. And then the BP executives would be given jobs driving us around town in the horsedrawn buggies and I think I should stop there before it all starts to sound a little fantastical.
My plan might sound absurd but allowing BP executives to continue enjoying a seat on the throne of corporate greed while bleeding the earth is much more so.
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If we follow your sage advice, we need to go a step further. We should have every moron in the US congress and especially in the White House, feeding the horses and cleaning up after them. If they'd allowed all the offered help to do something to begin with, it would have been a done deal by now. They won't even let a clean-up operation get going and now a hurricane is bearing down on the Gulf, scheduled to hit this week. B.O. (B.S.) and his gang should start by going to the Gulf with straws and sucking it up by themselves.